Dear Tooth Fairy: I’m disappointed in myself.

I woke up this morning to find a sheet of beautifully embossed periwinkle stationery washi-taped to my forehead, and what appeared to be a gold glitter bomb explosion on my bathroom vanity.

My immediate reaction: #OopsIdiditagain! Another #NationalToothFairyDay elapsed with no heartfelt missive from me to my favorite fairy.

In all fair(y)ness, the winged wonder was spotlighted earlier this year at thedailyfloss.com. Of course, on that most recent day of revelry, I publicly questioned her sense of fairness: https://thedailyfloss.com/tag/national-tooth-fairy-day/

I’m here to make it right. The Tooth Fairy deserves far more than two days of recognition annually. TheDailyFloss.com hereby proposes #NationalToothFairyMonth. (Full disclosure: My daughter teeters on the decade of wiggly teeth.)

Let the following four FairyFacts serve as sound basis for this nomination:

FairyFact: This entrepreneurial impresario previously earned a spot among the Forbes Fictional 15.

FairyFact: According to Forbes, in 2010 she gifted $145M of her $6.9 billion amassed wealth (nearly 4%!) A true humanitarian in every sense of the word, this fairy is far more generous than her counterparts C. Montgomery Burns and Scrooge McDuck.

FairyFact: If workaholic tendencies seem to prohibit a healthy work life balance, T.F. at least compensates with extensive world travel, a sparkling wardrobe, and loyal following.

FairyFact: A most fascinating take on her truly altruistic nature is demonstrated in the 2012 film Rise of the Guardians in which Toothiana is portrayed as an agile, intelligent (she’s multilingual, of course!), and fearless cherisher of childhood memories.

Need additional convincing? A dossier for your inspection:

In case this heartfelt plea doesn’t earn favor with the fairy, I close with a formal apology:

Dear Tooth Fairy,
TheDailyFloss.com deeply regrets a belated recognition of your day.
Though not an excuse, the root cause falls under the heading “overscheduled” rather than “sheer thoughtlessness”.
Please accept my sincere apology and the promise of future adulation.
From the heart,
MolarMuse

 

 

 

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