Musty mouth or smoldering smooch? Depends on the century.

 

With ABC’s renewed musical sitcom Galavant bringing to light the possibility that centuries of fairytale kisses might have been subpar,  or “musty,” per song lyrics in the season’s second episode “World’s Best Kiss,” the very existence of Jane Austen toothpaste (shown) seems ultra tongue-in-cheek.

Though Galavant-era characters appear to exist pre-1600s, and Austen’s romantic leads more of the early 1800s variety, the oral hygiene of all involved falls shy of that which exists today.

Per AVCLUB.com’s Dan Caffrey :

“When a hero and damsel fall into a storybook romance, we’re used to taking their emotions at face value, never stopping to question if their desire springs from lust rather than love; never stopping to wonder if their magical kiss was all that great to begin with.”

Certainly, people have been kissing for centuries, but perhaps a dab of Archie McPhee’s Jane Austen toothpaste (billed by mcphee.com as “usable by any class of people,” and crafted to taste “like roses”) could’ve made for a more smoldering smooch.

Would a rose by any other name really smell as sweet? Only if this “rose” paste had made its debut in Mr. Darcy’s day. Otherwise, as sure as bark on a tree, halitosis reigned supreme.

 

 

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